Jeff Can Blog

Sunny San Diego

By Jeff Klepper

The world looked sharp and transparent. The sun lit room felt warm like a summer morning in La Jolla. The door to the room was cracked and I could hear the shoe store below me opening for business at every Monday morning. I got out of bed and washed my face. I felt sick to my stomach but that was nothing out of the ordinary considering I have a stomach ulcer the size of Kentucky. I reached in my kitchen cupboard and grabbed my bottle of Wild Turkey and poured myself a stiff drink. The taste alone sends me into a euphoric state that allows me to gather the courage to write about the poor saps that inhabit this city. All racing to work chattering about something they know nothing about. There is something in their psyche that allows them the self satisfaction that their meaningless jobs somehow relate. It is with this insignificant rationale that I stuff ice cubes in a glass and douse them with whiskey and scotch. There is no new age rendition of helplessness that allows for such hedonistic and barbaric thought. I do know now that the more I follow in this self destructive condition I become well aware that I am no less human than the gorilla at the Sad Diego zoo. I often go to the zoo on my days off from assignment. I go to the primate section first and I will sit there with my thermos of whiskey for hours. Thinking of ways to communicate with these cousins of man, these poor unfortunate bastards who were happy where they were. Until some monstrous figure out of the night grabbed them and caged them and sent them to San Diego so that some little kid can lick a lolli-pop and piss them self. I know that they look out at the world much like I do. Sitting, staring, contemplating the reasons they are confined in some unnatural faux eco-system that somehow reminds them of home. But they sulk and suffer like their human counter parts who are just as confined as they are. These poor unfortunate bastards and their furry bodies and their distant stares haunt me. They have no culture. Their life is over, they are expected to hump their counterpart so that they can one day doom their offspring to the same confinement and the same depression as they are in. It shadows humanity in almost every way. We are caged in our own glorious state. We are at fault for not noticing our brilliance and our own majesty. Instead, I sit here packing ice cubes into my glass while I face another day in sunny San Diego.

Now that grades are published and I will not have to do summer school for the first summer in a long while I find myself having to dedicate this summer to new personal goal. Fortunately with my poor eating habits and lack of execercise this past semester this summer will be the summer of the gym. I dont need lose weight or anything its more of I feel like a lazy sack of shit more than anything. Motivation to go to the gym is at an all time low but I have been watching the college crowd and have seen an uprise in chub. This is a warning sign to me and should be to all of us. Taking care of ourselves sucks. It is no fun and ultimately were gonna die anyways. But I hate waking up and feeling guilty about sitting on my computer all day playing video games. That is just a recipe for carpal tunal syndrome and diabetes. So in exactly less than an hour I will be off to the gym at 6 A.M. in hopes of kicking my lazy ass into doing something proactive. Mahalo.

Well I was right, I knew it all along. We have been watched since those buildings fell  on 9/11 and gave all citizens their new rightfull term “terrorist”. Yes kids, we are all terrorist to King George. Why wouldn’t we be? Think of it like this, if there is an easier way to stop opposition completely and get total compliance: create mass surveilence. Then there is no way anyone has a right to privacy or for that matter a right to their own life without the governement looking over your shoulder. This is not a good sign of things to come but now we know. This means we need to vote out the Republicans for letting Bush get more than out of hand. Not to mention gas prices and the war right around the corner with Iran. Is this not the world you envisioned for your children? Because I sure did, I might be cynical but boy did I make a good move with the vesectomy. So stay tuned. Until I get carted off into Gitmo with the rest of the terrorists. God Bless The Old America, the one that didn’t hate its citizens.